Friend turns to Foe

Friend turns to foe

Foe turns back to friend

The betrayal rips through your soul

The betrayal of one leads another to forgive

The forgiveness sours and an onslaught begins

The rain comes pouring down

Leaving you drenched and alone

I always seemed to have problems with friends, especially best friends. It seemed that as soon as I labeled a person my best friend problems began occurring. They would ditch me for other more popular girls or a new boyfriend. Often they would return saying I was there only true friend, but soon enough they would have ditched me for another reason. I am usually a very forgiving person. Once a person enters my heart, I can never truly oust them. This led to me being hurt over and over again by the people who I should have been able to trust the most.

I wrote this about a couple of friends that particularly hurt me. They would often ignore me for months on end. They would tell my secrets with no thought to my feelings. They would make me feel horrible about myself. Yet, I would always forgive them when they came back. Not because I needed them. I had made other friends. I took them back because they would come to me with tears in their eyes. I did not remember my pain because all I could see was theirs. It took me years and a lot of pain to finally turn my back on them. It hurt even more to hear their screams of betrayal. I still remember the look of hurt on their faces when I finally stood up for myself and told them, “No more!” No more will I take your abuse. No more will I be a floor mat for you to walk on. No more will I let you hurt me. No more will I be your friend. It was one of the hardest things I have had to do. It took a lot of courage to stand up to my friends. It took a lot of courage to do something I didn’t want to do, but knew I had to.

It still hurts to think of that time in my life. Not because I regret the choices I made, nor do I wish it had never happened. It would have been nice to of had friends I could count on above all else, but there is no point wishing things had been different. I learned a lot about myself through the experience. I learned to stand up for myself. I learned that just because someone needs you doesn’t mean you should sacrifice yourself for them. I learned that, sometimes, the hardest things to do are often the best things for you to do. No, I do not wish it did not happen. It made me stronger. It hurts to think of it because somewhere deep inside, I remember my best friends. I remember the great times we shared and part of me is still that girl that desperately wants to help her friends.